I didn't even come across formal game AT ALL
until 2009. i didn't even know it existed. a friend recommended the
books "The Game" and "Mystery Method". Then, shortly after implementing
the techniques from these books, I ended up with a girlfriend of 1.5 years. The jump you see happen started when I got out of this relationship in March 2011. I learn
pretty fuckin quickly and am able to put into practice what I learn
pretty quickly as well. My first night out using Mystery Method I got 4
makeouts and 7 numbers, 3 of which turned into fucks. I actually didn't even discover RSD until the end of June of this year when I took
a bootcamp with Tyler and Todd. So I've been into the RSD shit for only
3 months. In that 3 months though my number has gone from 103 to 122.
I will say that I think there are a bunch of flaws in Mystery Method and RSD is a way better and evolved method, but I still use some things from Mystery Method. It's important to realize that if YOU THINK A SET OF STRATEGIES/TACTICS IS WORKING, that will usually be self-fulfilling and they WILL WORK.
This is due to a lot of things happening automatically -- high core
confidence, entitlement, what jeffy calls "punching through the wall"
(aka not even seeing failure as an option and being so sure of shit
working), etc. Just thinking that you have the keys to success will give
you success a lot of times. Mindset is very
important. This principle kind of snowballs too as you achieve more and
more success because you start getting EMPIRICAL RESULTS to point to. It's not just, hey I'M THE FUCKING SHIT any more. It's, wow, I fuck tons of hot bitches, get crazy pulls, and do other insane stuff in field....oh and btw, I'M ALSO THE SHIT.
Fake it til you make it. Never doubt yourself. The awesome player you
envision yourself to be will manifest itself full force in due time.
So,
I was at 61 lays before I even found out anything about formal game.
But you can see how much my progress shot up once I started implementing
formal game. Lots of people have tried to say that I am a natural since I was at a decent amount of lays before I discovered
"game". Well, let me paint the picture of how life was like for me
prior to junior year of college. Take senior year of high school: I took the bus to school, was taking 7 AP classes in which I would play wireless chess in class (before wireless technology had even officially come out lol), I would
sit with 3 super smart guys at lunch and we would debate philosophy and
science, i would sneak out of the lunchroom to go to the library to
daytrade stocks, I played the violin, I was in math league, I had never kissed a girl, I planned on waiting until marriage to have sex, ......need I continue? When i finally madeout with my first girl in Freshman year of college I literally shook violently with nervousness. When i lost my virginity at the end of freshman year of college, I busted in about 3 seconds lol. I grew
up in a very verbally absusive household and was pretty depressed,
nervous, shy, and awkward in high school. Things got a little better in
college as I became a lot more outgoing. I started drinking junior year of college (2003) after I switched from a technology school to a liberal arts school. I started going out Fridays and Saturdays for the purpose of drinking/partying/hanging out with friends. I will
admit that alcohol changed a lot for me. Coming from a background of
serious general anxiety/social anxiety, a few beers opened a new world
for me. I got into the habit very quickly of going up to the cute girls
at every party and shooting the shit. I learned after a bunch of what I
now know are called "approaches", I realized that the countent of what I would first say (my "opener") was meaningless. I would
just be friendly, outgoing, and fun and started regularly making out
with chicks. Aol instant messenger (AIM) was popular at this time so I would get these bitches screen names and I would
typically have like 6-7 windows open at night before going out (or
during the day) where I'd be making sexual innuendos and doing lots of
flirting (usually using wink faces or tongue faces). I started going out
Thursdays, then after a while I added in Wednesdays. Then I would find
out about parties going on on Mondays and Tuesdays. By senior year I was
going out on Sundays too (so 7 days a week). I was
going out for the major reason of partying with friends. being in a
drinking environment with music, meeting new people, and the highs of
hooking sets, getting IOIs, getting makeouts, etc. were all what fueled
me. I quickly became the type of guy that
always wanted to go out and always wanted to hit multiple
events/parties/bars/etc. I always wanted to go out and stay out as long
as possible as long as something fun was going on. I got a player image
almost right away because I'd usually clean up at every party or bar.
One of my majors in college was Philosophy so one of my main tactics was
to be very Machiavellian. I would often use improv lying in real-time to fit the situation and give myself shit to talk about or to serve some purpose. I used
to open a lot with "you look familiar..." which I now think is pretty
corny but it worked pretty well on college girls. Here is a typical
sequence I would use:
me: hey, you look familiar..
HB: from where?
me: we're in that one class together, ummm
HB: which one??
me: it's real early...ummm
HB: class x!?
me: yaaa, i hate that class. i usually don't go because i don't really like the professor
HB: (agrees or disagrees)
me: ya that's true hahahaha, so [stack to some improv shit about the party or her appearance, and so forth]
i
started to get what i know is called "self-amusing" by having little
challenges with friends. i would bet them money that i could make out
with any girl they chose. i would almost always win and this caused me
to open difficult sets and take on a player persona in my mind even
further. i went through a period of being too sloppy with my drinking
where i'd black out parts of the night (and therefore forget all my #
closes) or get into the mode of saying dumb shit due to drunkenness.
anyways, without getting into too many tangental details, prior to
reading the game and mystery method in 2009, here were my main
strategies (that got me 61 lays, almost all from cold approach):
1. Be a fearless approacher
2. Think you're the shit. Better yet, KNOW you're the shit. Point to results you achieve to remind yourself of this fact.
3. Be in set a lot. If one stales or blows out, immediately move on to the next
4. The content of the opener (and of the conversation for the most part) is meaningless. Say whatever the fuck you want.
5. Related to 4, while saying whatever the fuck you want -- display charisma, animted body language, expressiveness
6. Feeling entitled
These
were all things I just developed from going out and interacting with
chicks. You can see what's working and what isn't just from time in the
field. Obviously, discovering formal game strategies and tactics helped
strengthen a lot of things, add a lot of things, and remove negative
habits.
However, to be honest, I think bad habits can really persist for long periods of time without even realizing it.
That's why studying formal game is really important. There are subtle
things that fuck up your sets or increase your flake percentage or make
you needy/try-hard. That's why it's so important to be brutally honest
about your sticking points, weak areas, and to constantly be critical of
yourself. Don't compare yourself to others though -- just try to become
better and better. Make your best set of this week be your average set 6
months from now. Make your craziest adventure this year be something
that happens more frequently next year.
All this being said, I'm
only 3 months into learning RSD. I'm fitting it into my existing
framework and it's fixing a lot of things that I'm doing wrong. I've had
to unwire some bad habits and I'm in the process of re-wiring better
ones.
The main revelations that RSD gave me (that I've been implementing full force) are the following:
1.
Be persistent. This includes re-engaging. I used to roll off when
interrupts would happen, when I'd be given shit tests, when the set
wasn't, or when AMOGs would come in. Now I see all these things as making the set even more fun and interesting and bust through all that shit.
2. Don't seek reaction. I used to DHV a bunch because of my mystery method background. I would
do this from a non-bragging/non-try hard frame so I would just mention
the DHV stuff in stories indirectly without them being the focus of
stories. However, I still had the mindset that
posessions, skills, etc would "impress" the girl and therefore get her
to like me more. I try not to DHV much any
more. Also, if there is anything I'm going to say where I want the girls
to react in some sort of way, I stop myself from doing it. It's better
to be SELF-AMUSING and just adding positive emotions to the vibe rather
than trying to get them to react a certain way.
3. ESCALATE. I used to look at the phone number as an end goal. I would
try and "play it safe" and play "not to lose". The rationale was that
I'd be able to keep her in a good spot without escalating and THEN I'D GET HER
(YAAA!) when the day 2 came. Wrong wrong wrong. Their emotions and
buying temperature is up the night you meet them. A phone number time
bridge doesn't even put you where you left off because you are both out
of your emotional state so it's like you're starting a bunch of steps
back from where you left off. Push for the makeout, push for the move
within the venue, push for the venue change, try for the pull home.
4.
Fight objections. This ties into being persistent...but it's also an
important principle on its own. The girls will give you reasons why they
can't give you their phone number, why they can't kiss you, why they
can't go home with you, why they can't leave their friends, etc. Train
yourself at answering these objections and constantly reframing to the
frame that you want. This also entails crushing the frame that they set
forth.
5. Build momentum to get into state. The ideas of momentum and state were brand new to me as of end of June of this year. I actually want to start going out at 8 so I can build momentum and get into state by 10 pm and then tear shit to shreds til 2 and then afterclub it til 3:30.
6.
Make girls love you or hate you, not tolerate you. This ties into #3 of
playing it safe and playing not to lose but it's also important on its
own. I would kind of walk the line of trying to keep them around so I wouldn't
push too hard sometimes when I needed to for fear of losing them.
However, ironically, not pushing hard when you need to is going to leave
a lot of girls on the fence. A lost girl isn't much different than one
on the fence...neither one is fucking you.
7. Sometimes you have to burn it to the ground. This ties into 6 somewhat. I never wanted to go all out and burn shit but now when the situation warrants it, I do it. Cuz why the fuck not.
8. It's ok to go direct. Mystery method taught me to indirectly open a group and ignore the target and then all the sudden -- OH LOOK I WANT THE TARGET! I almost
always open the target directly now. It's still important to win over
the group...but I don't like the whole indirect approach shit that much
any more. I think you can get much more solid sets by going direct.
9. Don't put pussy on a pedastal. Mystery method taught me that I started off at a big value disadvantage and that I needed to DHV to
the girl to raise my value while simultaneously negging the girl to
lower hers. This would cause a relative value shift and at some point my
value would surpass hers. Now i believe in core confidence and see
myself on her level (or usually higher than her level lol). I have
a ton of shit going for me and can get hotties all day so why would one
hot body intimidate me. With this mindset, it's much easier to approach
the top stunners and not subcommunicate that you are lower value. It's
all in your fuckin head. If you want to give them some pseudo-worth,
it's just going to fuck you up.
10. LEAD. Put your hand out to the
girl. Put her arms around the back of your head. Take her spots in the
venue. Call the shots. If a friend interrupt comes in, have her
introduce you. If she disrespects you, call her on it. Direct the
interaction.
I'm sure there's others but those are some of the main ones. As should be apparent now, formal game training ACCELERATES your
progress but there's no substitute for lots of time in the field. I
went form being a depressed super nerd in an abusive home to having full
abundance. Just make your mind up that you're going to be a fucking
beast and then go and be a fucking beast. It's that simple. Try to fix
areas you can but also don't expect things to happen overnight. The
hotness of the girls has gone up and up. My general success and lays and
crazy adventures have gone up and up. It gradually builds.
Best
advice I can get to anyone no matter what your level -- go out a lot,
never give a fuck, be critical of what you're doing wrong, and be
patient. Now that I've given my life story as a PUA, i'm off to sarge.
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